No pressure

I was going to write a full blog but I'm pressed for time. So instead, I'm going to utilize my newly acquired Business Communications skills which call for brief, concise and natural language writing. Here's what's on my mind right now:

My Marketing Prof, in her traditional final lecture speech/advice, wished us good luck for our finals and encouraged us to study hard. She said that based on her experience, life is so much more enjoyable when you have money and the effort that we put into studying right now will be the difference between getting the mortgage we need versus getting the mortgage we want. She expressed her approval of SFU's despicable policy of grading all Business courses on a curve because it forces us to compete with each other- which is how it's going to be in the real world.

Talk about saying the complete opposite of "Good luck, no pressure!". Not that I don't appreciate the advice and totally agree with her but now I'm spending half of my study time worrying about whether or not I'm working hard enough to even get a shot at achieving my goals. It's a tough world out there and I, for one, am scared shitless thinking about all the wrong turns and dead ends that I may face.

Sometimes I wish I chose a more defined career path. I wanted to be in business because I was attracted by all the opportunities but now I'm discouraged because there is a very thin line between becoming a boring office worker and actually getting out there as an innovator.

I want to be passionate about my work and I want to be happy with the life that I live. I really hope I'm taking the right steps because time is running out and pretty soon, I won't be able to turn things around anymore.

Not being pessimistic; just being real, as always.

Commitment

My friend Anais asked me to answer a survey for one of her classes a few months ago. It was already 4 am where she was so I had to finish it in less than 5 minutes- she was literally blacking out on me. I just found the file again on my hard drive so I decided to post it. Commitment is just one of those really complicated things that sometimes comes naturally but often feels forced. Sometimes it lasts forever but most of the time it dies out. I struggle with commitment everyday, whether it be for my quest to get healthier, to ace all my classes or even with my relationships. I guess the responsibility that comes with it kind of scares me a little but this short survey made me feel a lot better because now I appreciate the fact that I have free choice, that I myself decide on my commitments- not my parents, not my peers, not my government, not anyone. So instead of thinking of them as constraints in my life, they are now a sign of the great liberties that I have been gifted with. Thank you. <3


1. What is commitment?

Commitment is loyal engagement or involvement.

2. What is commitment for you?

Commitment is motivation and determination coupled with perseverance and the deliberate notion that you shall never give up.

3. Do you believe in commitment?

Yes.

4. Do you see any changes in the concept of commitment in the present as compared to the notion in the past?

Possibly. The way that I see it, obligated commitment was far more common in the past than it is right now. Today, the idea of self-determination is a lot more popular so people insist on making their own choices and thus deciding on their own commitments.

5. Why do you think the concept of commitment changed throughout time?

The concept changed because our social environment continuously evolves.

6. What factors contributed to the change/s?

Everything from the transformations in religious beliefs, political ideologies and even exposure to different cultures.

7. Do you think that this change is good? Or bad?

I believe that this kind of change is good.

8. Was commitment simpler before?

It’s difficult to say as I have never experienced commitment in any other form.

9. Do you think that committing to someone now is complicated?

No.

10. Is it supposed to be objective –with just one definition and very much structured? Or can it be subjective in the sense that everyone will have their own interpretation of commitment?

Commitment is something very personal so I believe that it can never be objective. People will commit to different things for different reasons and they will do so in their own unique way.

Pro-life.

I'm sorry I can't have you.
I'm sorry I can't accept you.
I'm sorry I'm not ready, I'm sorry I'm not willing.
I'm sorry I can't handle, I'm sorry I can't change.
I'm sorry I can't be there for you.
I'm sorry I can't give you a chance.
I'm sorry I can't stand proud.
I'm sorry I'm not brave enough.
I'm sorry I'm giving up before the battle had even begun.
I'm sorry I have to turn away.
I'm sorry I can't open up my heart to love you.

Sentimentality comes to me every year

I’m turning 20 in eight days and now I’m feeling nostalgic. I miss being

fifteen and innocent,

sixteen and learning,

seventeen and getting there,

eighteen and being free.

I miss the simplicity of high school, waking up at 6:30 everyday, going to school, hanging out with my friends then going home. I miss knowing that even if I don’t try, I’m going to survive.

I miss being on top of the world, instead of desperately trying to climb up.

So now the clock is ticking, and I’m trying to do all the things that I’ve always planned to do but never got the chance to. I’m tired, exhausted and streched out to the extremes but I know that it’s all going to be worth it.

I may have been side-tracked and distracted for a while then but mark my words, I am going to look back in my life and not regret a single thing. It’s never too late to start living.

I hope you realize that youre moving on from this at a much faster rate than I am and unless you slow down, stop, wait or come back for me, we’re never going to be in this journey together.

I think my biggest problem is that I measure very poorly my own self-worth and for that I pay the price.

Using big words does NOT mean you have a big brain. In fact, most of the time, it’s just used to hide the fact that you have nothing important to say.